The Valley Of Vision

"THE VALLEY OF VISION"

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox

that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime starts can be seen from deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

Let me find thy light in my darkness,

thy life in my death,

thy joy in my sorrow,

thy grace in my sin,

thy riches in my poverty,

thy glory in thy valley.

During this time away from life in Nigeria, God is humbling me in amazing ways. Why? To show He doesn't need me to carry out the work there. He is testing me to see if I really trust him and take him at His word. He has sovereignly placed me here to wait on Him for such a time is this. He continues to show me I must believe that His will is being accomplished even when I can't see. Through darkness the light of His presence is filling my soul. Like the Puritans of Old, I am seeing His glory in my valley. I praise God because I know in the steepness of this valley, my heart has been desperate for HIM. I am seeing the love of Christ in a new way. The depths and goodness of His character are becoming more clear to me, and in this I rejoice. I rejoice not in my circumstances, but in the God of my circumstances!

"The Steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, For in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock"

Isaiah 26:3

Your Chains Are Gone

Freedom: the quality or state of being free: Independence, exemption, release or ease.

This topic of freedom has been one of the themes of my trip home this fall. I am studying about God's freedom and how I can make liberty IN Christ a reality in my life. How can I not allow the chains of bondage of sin to rule over me? I know in my head that I am free in Christ because Jesus' shed blood on the cross of Calvary bought my freedom once and for all. Yet why do I continually allow sin to reign in my body and weigh me down? Until we are in the presence of our Glorious King, we will struggle with our fleshly bodies and desires for the things of this world.

"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of slavery!"

Galatians 5:1

What is true FREEDOM? Romans 8:2-4 says, "For the law of the Spirit of life has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit"

I continue to fall short yet God in His infinite mercy has redeemd my life from the pit. I am finally free from the chains that held me for so long. Psalm 40 is one of my favorites and talks about how the Lord lifts us out of the pit and puts a new song in our mouths, a song of praise to HIM. HE HAS REDEEMED MY LIFE FROM THE PIT OF HELL. Because I know Jesus I now have hope of eternal life, what a glorious truth. My song is for the Lord, and by His grace I will continue to praise my Father for saving me, a wretched sinner.

"Remember your chains are gone, remember He has given you a new song, therefore you must praise him all day long, so others may know of His SON, remember your chains are gone!"

I Miss.....

Jefda's sqeal when he gets excited

JD's sweet face and how he calls me his Maigida or "wife" in Hausa

Witnessing Kathryn's hilarious dancing and bright smile


The way James clings to my leg and loves on me. I miss sitting him on my lap and feeling his big belly
Hearing Moses sing with all his heart to the Lord

Playing with the gang that always comes to visit me every day. I miss the way they yell for me "aunty Susan, aunty Susan!" I miss all these precious children whom I have grown to love this last year. I can't wait to get back to Nigeria!

Hat Ministry

My mother loves to crochet, and several months ago I asked her to make some hats for me to bring back to Nigeria in August. What a blessing it has been to use her gifts and minister to infants and children living with HIV. One big difference between American and African babies is that mothers dress them so warmly despite the heat. Even at 90 degree temperatures, infants are seen wearing wool hats and sweaters. The hat minstry has been incredible so far, and I am excited to continue giving the adorable hats to these precious ones.

Faith is one day old and and her mother is positive. Infants are given ARV's shortly after birth for prevention of the virus from their mothers. Faith will be given the drugs for the next few weeks and by God's grace will be negative!



Emembe or "rejoice," and her new pink hat. Her mother is HIV positive and it is not yet determined whether she also has the virus. It's too early to tell, but so far she is not showing any signs and has been healthy in her first few months of life. She has been fed infant formula which is a sure way to prevent her from acquiring HIV from her mother since HIV is present in breast milk.


Abigail is infected with HIV and has quite a sad story. Her parents both died of HIV and no-one wanted to take care of her because she too was positive. The stigma and fear associated with this virus is unbelievable. Her grandparents family took her in and now care for her. One day when one of our nurses went on a home visit, they found her sitting on the cement floor in a dark room alone. Can you imagine that? No wonder she never smiles like a normal child. Her prognosis is not very good because she is still so thin and frail. Even though on ARV's now, her body has not responded well. We pray God will sustain her for many more years!!!!

Fall in Chicago

I love Fall in Chicago and the changing of seasons, from leaves turning beautiful colors to the fresh crisp autumn air, it's so refreshing! After being cooped up for ten days I have loved getting out for walks and enjoying nature.

Class of 1996

Me with two old high school friends, Lindsay (left) and Sherry, at our ten year reunion

Even though the last three weeks have been difficult with sickness and surgery, my heart is content and at peace. One of the confirmations of this trip home is that God allowed me to attend my ten year high school reunion last friday. I love Nigeria but there was still some part of me that wanted to go back to the year 1996 and remember the good old days of Homecoming dances, pep rallies, football games and hot lunches. I had a great time and really enjoyed seeing old friends and sharing the good news of God with classmates. At the reunion I was handed a letter I wrote to myself on May 22nd, 1996 during my senior year in Sociology class. The question was "where do you see yourself in ten years?" Somehow I didn't remember the assignment and it came as a bit of a surprise, but was so affirming and encouraging to my heart. Below are a few excerpts from my letter.

Dear Susan,

"I hope to be a pediatric nurse at a hospital somewhere. I really want to nurse little children back to health...."

"I am not sure what God has in store for me, so right now my future is unclear...."

"I also would like to go to another country and work at an orphange with little children...."

"I have hope that we will eventually find a cure for the deadly virus called

AIDS...."

Did I actually write that? Who was that seventeen year old girl? Despite my inadequacies, failures, weaknesses and sin nature, God is perfect. Nothing could thwart the plans He laid out for me. Even though there have been many bumps in the road I have traveled, God has used every obstacle and valley for my good to accomplish His purposes in me. I stand amazed at where God has brought me and how He implanted those desires deep in my heart long ago. He knew His plans for me would be fulfilled by His power and glory. God is the author and wrote the story of my life before the foundations of the earth. What am I doing today? I am a nurse working with children and adults living with HIV/AIDS in Nigeria. I also work with street children and orphans at a care center in the city of Jos.

I can't help but think of Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

My trip home was worth it to get this letter and reflect on God's faithfulness and Sovereignty in my life these last ten years.

Evacuation Insurance

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose!"

Romans 8:28

When I first attended missionary training and my mission told me I must have evacuation insurance, I never actually thought I would need it. Little did I know it would come in handy later on. On September 22nd "it" happened to me. I had to be medically evacuated from Nigeria because I was having terrible back and abdominal pain for which a cause could not be determined. I was escorted back to Chicago by a doctor who helped take care of me while in Nigeria. She was my angel and God placed her in my life at just the perfect time when I needed her most. I was able to get a seat on her flight and she "happened" to be flying through Chicago. That was no coincidence but only the divine intervention of a God who holds the world in the palm of his hands. God brought me home promptly to get the medical help I needed, and I am forever grateful. That help came in the form of a laparoscopic cholycystecomy, or removal of the gallbladdder with a scope through a small incision in the abdomen. My gallbladder was diseased; the main duct called the common duct was enlarged and not functioning properly. I have no prior family history of this problem and have never before had an issue with my gallbladder. In my own finite mind this whole experience seems random and at first made little sense to me. But Oh no! Nothing in this life is random. Everything happens for a reason and is all under the control of an Almighty, Soveriegn, Holy, Just, Righteous, Perfect, Faithful, Kind, Loving, Merciful, Gracious, Compassionate and Everlasting Father. I stand in complete awe of His love for me and how He orchestrated everything that needed to happen in order to get me on that specific flight that specific day with that specific person. My prayer while I have been home recovering is that God would show me what He wants me to learn in all this, and that He would be glorified through my pain. I am learning to be thankful and appreciate the time I have with my family and basking in the Grace that each new day brings. I am walking close to my Savior and resting in the fact that I don't have to understand why certain things happen. I am simply leaning on Jesus right now. Therefore it is well with my soul....