Sunshine of His face

One of my favorite songs is actually an old one, and one I have been introduced to just recently. It has been a great encouragement to me lately. The words resonate deep in my heart any time I am unsettled about anything in life. As the tension here rises, I am reminded of the words of this song, and I am at peace once again.

"Jesus I am Resting Resting"

Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee

And Thy beauty fills my soul

For by Thy transforming power

Thou hast made me whole

Oh how great Thy lovingkindness

Vaster broader than the sea

Oh how marvelous Thy goodness

Lavished all on me

Yes I rest in Thee Beloved

Know what wealth of grace is Thine

Know Thy certainty of promise

And have made it mine

Simply trusting Thee Lord Jesus

I behold Thee as Thou art

And Thy love so pure so changeless

Satisfies my heart

Satisfies its deepest longings

Meets supplies its ev'ry need

Compasseth me round with blessings

Thine is love indeed

Ever lift Thy face upon me

As I work and wait for Thee

Resting 'neath Thy smile Lord Jesus

Earth's dark shadows flee

Brightness of my Father's glory

Sunshine of my Father's face

Keep me ever trusting resting

Fill me with Thy grace

chorus: Jesus I am resting resting

In the joy of what Thou art

I am finding out the greatness

Of Thy loving heart

This last stanza especially speaks to me. Today I am resting in the sunshine of my Father's face. I am marvelling in His glory which represents all that He is. His smile illuminates an amazing light and is dispelling the darkness here. May the people of Nigeria also cling to the light of Christ amidst the shadows.

One of my favorite things

Those of you who are close to me know how much I love Diet Coke. It is very high on the list of "Susan's favorite things," along with Mexican food, Starbucks coffee, and my mom's famous pasta salad (well done mom.) At 10:15 this morning, after taking my first sip of Diet Coke, I came to realize again that I am totally addicted. It is one of those simple pleasures I really enjoy. I know I am really suffering here right (ha-ha)?



Life is better with Diet Coke.....

Lovely Ladies

I want you to meet a few of my lovely friends. Back row is Erin Rigsby who is a missionary nurse here currently on furlough in Texas. She works with the boys at Transition House, a care center for street kids and orphans. She is hoping to return in early May. Erin's passion and love for her ministry here touched my heart from day one. Before coming I would check her website and cry every time because I saw her heart in action, and it made an impact on me. Next to Erin is Ritmua who is also working at TH, and going to seminary here. She has a beautiful voice and God is using her in amazing ways to minister through the gift of music. She is a prayer warrior and constant source of encouragement to me. She has been one of my closest friends here. Next to me is Nicky, a Brit, who is currently studying at Bible College in England, but coming back as a long term missionary with SIM in august. Nicky was a good listener, and great support during my first 6 months in Nigeria. Last but not least is GayLynn who is also furloughing in New Mexico at the moment, and due to return in June. She put up with my emotional up's and down's, and is a woman of great wisdom. Plus she would laugh at my jokes.

Girls,

Miss you a ton and look forward to drinking tea together soon (for Erin it is Starbucks coffee :)!

How do I smell?

I went to visit Ladi's sister's last week, Ruth and Mercy. We had such a nice time together. Mercy pulled out old pictures of her mom Rebekah, and we remembered what use to be. I really enjoyed our visit. I hadn't seen Mercy since before her baby died in December. She named the baby Rebekah after their mom. Please pray for Ruth (left). I am not sure she knows Jesus. We have talked about the Lord many times but her life is not consistent with a person who loves HIM! Pray for my continued support and love to these women to be genuine and that I may overflow with Jesus. Pray that Ruth will come to know Christ through what she sees in me. I pray I am a fragrant aroma of Christ to her.

How do I smell to her? Am I a fragrant aroma of Christ or the stench of death?

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. AND WHO IS EQUAL TO SUCH A TASK!"

"The Freedom Song"

As we walked down the steps to Esther's house on monday, I knew I should brace myself for what I would see. Even though I have been taking care of dying patients for over four years now, it is never easy; it is always an emotional experience to see a life fading away right before your very eyes. This was especially sad because Esther is only twenty-five years old and already end stage. When one of the home-based care workers named Ladi told me Esther was really down, she said, "I thought she was going to give up yesterday." I knew it would be bad. Upon entering the room, there she was lying in fetal position; her body emaciated. She had hardly any clothes on because of high fevers. She was delirious and had a dry mouth, due to eating almost nothing. Her bones jutted out everywhere. Each time she exhaled her ribcage moved rapidly up and down. She was near the end. We sat her up slowly, all her weight leaning on us, and gave her some Tylenol for the fever. She immediately vomited the two white pills. We waited a few minutes, then I instructed Ladi to crush the pills and give them, again making sure she swallowed them. By God's grace she kept them down. As she sat there limp as anything, I slowly rubbed a cool rag on her back and face. Then she lay back down and began moaning "God, why did you do this to me?" We began talking to Esther about the love God has for her. We asked her is she was a Christian, and if she died that night would she be going to Heaven? She answered that yes she was, and would be in Heaven. We prayed with her and sang "Ni Zan je", which says, "I will go anywhere with Jesus, no matter the roughness of the road." Then we said goodbye; a goodbye which would be our last.

I have been praying and thinking a lot about my friend, and when I saw Ladi this morning I asked how Esther was doing. Ladi told me she went to her house last night with a pastor, and they prayed again with her. Then she broke the news that Esther died early this morning at 4 a.m. I am rejoicing that her pain and suffering are no more; her hope has been fully restored by the One who made her. Esther is now singing the freedom song.

It's easy to grow discouraged day after day seeing the same thing; a young woman, man or child being taken away by this horrible disease, suffering so much, and knowing there is nothing I can do to change the situation. This feeling of being out of control is the hardest reality I face. But again as God always does, He has brought me comfort today and is healing my heart. I am reminded again that I did my job and that's all I can do. Sharing the gospel with Esther was the the best way to minister to her needs, and bring comfort during her last days on this earth. I will not remember Esther the way she looked, but that of her raising her hands to Jesus as we sang, and the bright smile on her face when we said goodbye. Even in her dying, she was smiling because we brought her hope....and hope is more than enough.

Final Ceremony

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases...." Several hundred women gathered for the final ceremony of the reunion yesterday. They all dress up in matching wrappers to signify a coming together in celebration. This was their time to be recognized, to sing the "freedom song" for they have been healed from this VVF which has caused much sorrow, grief, stigma, pain and depression for many. Praise the Lord for He has healed and delivered them. He does all things well.

A group called Bazata who travel all over Nigeria and sing traditional Hausa music. I really enjoyed listening to them, they were fantastic!

The two chaplains for the VVF

Women getting ready for their special number
I got asked to speak five minutes ahead of time. This is typically what happens at gatherings like this where you are asked to speak at the last minute. I had no time to prepare but shared from my heart how thankful I am to be a part of ministry at the VVF, and how God is working miracles in many women's lives.

Women dancing together

VVF Reunion

The annual VVF reunion started today and goes through saturday. Hundreds of women gather from villages across Nigeria to celebrate their healing from VVF. Tonight they had a special program with dancing and singing. I loved walking around and greeting everyone. These women are so precious to me. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about them. People gathering to watch the special dance
A group of Fulani women here for the program

My precious friend Ngosono who lost her baby recently. God has restored her joy and she is coping well with the loss of Emembe.
The Tieve women proudly showing off their tribal dance
Me attempting to join in the dancing

Mao is a sweet young girl who had VVF, but is now dry and going home after the program

More dancing....

The Tieve women practicing

Women waiting outside the VVF for the celebration to start

My friends from the VVF gathering water

An old mama who always greets me

"Our Eyes are upon you!"

As I read 2 Chronicles yesterday my heart was filled with joy and I was reminded that God is my mighty warrior fighting for me. King Jehoshaphat heard that an army of Moabites, Meunites and Ammonites were preparing to wage war against his army. Upon hearing the news, together with all the people of Judah he sought to inquire of the Lord. In desperation and rock solid faith he stood up and prayed to the Lord his God for help. He prayed in verse 12, “For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you!” So an angel of the Lord appeared and said to him, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army (vs. 15). For the battle is not yours, but God’s…….You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the DELIVERANCE the Lord will give you (vs. 17)." Despite seeing the incredible odds against them, King Jehoshaphat bowed with his face to the ground, and all the people also fell down in worship before the Lord. Early the next morning they set out for Tekoa, and the King appointed men to sing and praise Him for the splendor of His holiness as they went out at the head of the army. As they began to sing “Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever,” the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated!

My heart is amazed yet again and I realize that my eyes must be upon the Lord as I fight the battles in this life. I am encouraged, and feel spurred on to take up my armor and trust GOD for his power to defeat the vast army that is in front of me. As I seek to make Christ known among peope here, God is before me and is my refuge, comfort, strength and my Deliverer. In HIM alone is all my trust and hope for He will never fail me. Praise be to God.........

A typical day

Sometimes when I stop and think about what it is that I do really, I am overwhelmed. I go through day after day witnessing situations that are unbelievable. The tremendous amount of suffering these people go through is almost too much to bare.

First thing this morning, I shared with my precious friends at the VVF center about the woman in Luke 8 who had been bleeding for twelve years. Many of these women have been leaking urine for twelve years or longer. They feel hopeless, trapped, and an increasing number are living with HIV. Kicked out of their homes they come far and wide in search of peace and a new life. This morning I urged the women to come to Jesus, and lift their hands in expectation that He can heal them. After sharing I prayed over them and we sang, "Godiya, godiya ga Allah, munkawo godiyanmu, aga bunka ya Alla." God we thank you, we thank you, we bring you praise, you are worthy of our praise!

Next I met one week old twin baby girls who are on admission in the hospital and in need of help to pay the hospital bills. The mother just died of HIV, and the father wants nothing to do with them. He has not come to see them and is living many hours away. The babies were delivered by c-section and given ARV's which will dramatically reduce their risk of HIV. The sister-in-law of the late mother has offerred to care for them. She has five children of her own, and is now graciously taking responsibility of these two.

Next is a baba who is pastoring a church up north. He brought his seventeen year daughter whose bag was already packed. In utter despair he told us that he and his wife are being threatened and receiving much trouble and stigma associated with his daughter's sickness. She is HIV+ and also being threated and shamed for having the virus. Members of the church do not want her around and are afraid of getting the virus. He was beside himself and asked us if their was anywhere we could take the girl to live. We referred them to a nearby ministry where she will stay and learn sewing skills. Unfortunately this is an all too common story of stigma, and how it tears families and communities apart.

I also saw one of my special babies with HIV who is over one year old now. He has a bad cough and his grandmother brought him to see the doctor. Why his grandmother? Because his mother died of HIV and she is now caring for him. His grandmother has five other children at home and breastfeeds her grandson like he is her own. It amazes me what these women go through.

A twelve year old boy who has been one of our clients for several years came in today and his face was downcast. When I asked him what was wrong and prodded for a while he now said that he was hungry. I gave him a little money and told him to buy some food. He is an orphan and stays with his auntie. He must fend for himself and at such a young age is given much responsibility.

God gave me His grace today to deal with each of these situations, and I am telling HIM thank you!!! Mun Gode maka domin alherinka da taimako. Thank you God for your grace and help.......

Legacy

"But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power than enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies to be like his glorious body."

The different headstones read: "Abundantly satisfied in Jesus, In the arms of Jesus, and For to me to live is Christ....to die is gain!" How poignantly written. Last week we had a staff retreat at Miango, SIM's mission rest home. Their is a cemetary behind the chapel where many SIM missionaries and their children are buried. During my visit I stopped to read the caption written on each headstone, and God pricked my heart with many capturing thoughts of a life well lived. It made me think about leaving a legacy. What will my headstone read? What will people say about me after I am gone? Will they say I lived for Jesus more than anything else in this life? Will people remember me for what I did or who I was? Do I really believe to live is Christ and to die is GAIN? There are many days when I just want to go and be with my Jesus; to depart is better by far. However, He has not called me home yet. He has called me for such a time as this. I want to live every moment as if it were my last. When I am in Heaven with my maker, it will be too late to share Christ with those who need to hear. For those who I will meet in Heaven will already have the gift of divine deliverance. It is here in this very moment that I must remember my purpose in life.That is to testify to the gospel of God's grace. Like the Apostle Paul, many hardships face me and war wages against me, but I am confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it. May my legacy be that Christ was shining through me, so that when others see me, they will say "yes I believe that God exists; that He lives and is the only true GOD (Isaiah 43:9)!

A poem by Martin Luther about John Wycliff's life and ministry says it all:

"Fling to the heedless winds

On the water cast

Their ashes shall be watched,

And gathered at the last.

And from the scattered dust

Around us and abroad,

Shall spring a plenteous seed,

Of witness for God.

Jesus hath now received

Their latest dying breath.

Yet vain is Satan's boast

Of victory in their death.

Still, still though dead they speak,

And triumph-tongued proclaim,

To many a waking land

The one availing name."

That's what I want, after death for my life to STILL proclaim the ONE AVAILING NAME!

"But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and striving toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me Heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philipians 3:13b-14

Spring of Life in Egbe

Last week a team of us travelled 8 and a half hours south to a town called Egbe. Egbe is made up of mostly Yoruba people which are the third largest people group in Nigeria, next to the Hausa and Igbo's.

A few SIM missionaries are opening a Spring of Life in Yorubaland; they have their official opening in two weeks. They have already started doing HIV testing and counseling many of the nurses and staff at Egbe Hospital. The hope is that members from the community will come to get tested, and be more aware of the presence and danger of HIV/AIDS.

Some of the paticipants eating lunch

Margie, one of the SIM'ers helping to jumpstart the ministry is counselling a few youth

Mrs. Akwai during a session