Saying goodbye

After many weeks of saying goodbye and tons of tears,
many visitors and people praying God's blessing over me,
several parties,
10 days of travelling,
11 flights,
3 different countries,
5 currencies and much anticipation....
I arrived safely back in America at the end of July, my home away from home. To my surprise the reverse culture shock has been so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I know it will take me time to adjust to life here, but I have felt so lost and out of place often. I keep hearing people say, "you're in America now!" Somehow I feel like I am just supposed to forget my experiences and move on. I don't know how do that. Nigeria has made such an impact on me, and was a huge part of life for two years. I have been forced into the fast paced society we live in and I am not ready yet. I am trying so hard to prevent my heart from the busyness of life here, but to no avail I am back in the craziness just like everyone else. I know that moving on is a part of life, but what about the amazing life I lived in Nigeria? How can I erase the memories of dancing with the VVF women, speaking Hausa with people, holding my beautiful HIV babies, seeing James grow, sharing the gospel with Isa and Abrahim on the streets? How can I tell you of all that I have seen, heard and witnessed with my very eyes? The devastation of AIDS, the hunger of children, the cries of the faint hearted who weep with little solace, the joy of seeing a life changed by the love of Jesus Christ.

I know that my God is faithful and will mend my heart back together. Each week I am feeling more comfortable with life here. I want to fully embrace all that God has, for such a time is this. Life at Moody has been so amazing so far, words cannot describe. The Moody update will be another entry to look forward to next time! I also will share more about my trip to Scotland and Ireland. It was such a refreshing time for me, praise GOD.

It's good to be back on the blog scene, stay tuned!!

Missing Nigeria

I am missing Nigeria today, as I do most days. The other night I was looking at a slideshow of pictures from Nigeria and cried harder than ever. As I remembered so many of our children who are living with HIV, my heart was sad. I miss seeing them and being a part of their lives. It's strange to be here in my home country and feel like a stranger. I often greet people and ask them how is work, and how is today, like I did in Nigeria, but people give me a blank stare. Those things I said and did there mean nothing here. It's a different world. Sometimes I catch myself saying "Kai" (wow), but no-one understands me. I am learning how to move on from my life in Nigeria and yet acknowledge what an impact it had on my life all at the same time. I feel as though I left a part of my heart there; and it won't be okay until I get it back. Like I am not whole. But I know I am whole in Jesus. He is everything to me, and fills my heart with divine joy and peace. I want to be like Jim Elliott and "be all here" so I can serve God's people with all that I am. I pray my heart continues to long more for HIM in the midst of feeling like no-one understands me. I realize God has a whole new harvest field for me here. I just need to be open to His Spirit leading me. Joy is a single mom and has James who is 4 years old and also positive.
Abraham came in with terrible sores on his head from HIV, and once he started treatment he improved so much and his sores went away.
My little Martha who warms my heart. She is living with her mom on a one inch mat on the floor in her small one room house. She is the sweetest thing and always loves to give me hugs and hold my hand!
Shaibu has gone from death to life! I am in such awe by his dramatic recovery, and so thankful to God for his second chance.
Shamma is a precious miracle also, but lost his mom Rose a few months ago to AIDS. He is now living with his grandmother who is beside herself, and unable to care for him well. The last time I saw him he had reduced weight again and looked very sick.
Gift is truly a gift. Her mother died of AIDS about 6 months ago, and her twin sister died suddenly a few months ago also. I suspect the twin was positive, although we will never know for sure. I worked hard with her aunty who is now caring for her to ensure she was feeding the baby well. She has learned a lot and doing a great job. She came to visit me twice before I left and brought the baby. It was so special. I really miss seeing the baby grow. I pray she is negative.
Isa is such a joy. His mother died of AIDS and because he was extra small since birth we always assumed he was positive. He was taking ARV's for over 6 months. But after testing him multiple times and getting negative results, we were dumfounded. His CD4 count is very low, yet the test shows no antibodies of HIV present??? The only indication for a low CD4 count is the presence of HIV. We cannot explain it...he is a mystery baby. But cute nonetheless.
Israel is God's chosen one for sure. He was almost dead and so skeletal before starting treatment. Clinically their is no way he would have survived, but God has a plan for his life and sustained him. He is a beautiful picture of God's redemptive plan and saving grace.