The countdown begins!

Today the one week countdown begins, and it is officially crazy!!!! Every day I have people coming over to greet me and say goodbye. This morning one of my clients from work came to greet me at 7:30 am with her four month old baby. You never know when people will come by. Between packing, giving things away, running to and from work, buying gifts, organizing my house and etc.....I am so busy. Transitioning is never easy, and I feel like no matter how much I do in advance to prepare for a move, it always ends up like this anyway. I will attempt to share seven memorable experiences I have had here (not in any order of significance), one for each day that I have remaining in Nigeria!! Enjoy....


7. I loved speaking at home-based care trainings and educating people about HIV. It was such a joy to know that we were empowering them to make positive choices for preventing the spread of this virus in their own lives and the lives of people in their churches. Our prayer is that they will choose life and embrace those in their communities that are living positively!

"Godiya, Godiya ga Allah"

"Godiya, godiya ga Allah, mun kawo godiyanmu agabunka ya Allah!" God we thank you and praise your name!" Those words bellow the halls of the VVF ward every tuesday as the women gather to celebrate their healing from VVF. I too can be found singing those beautiful words, because I have become part of the women here. Though we don't always speak the same language, I have come to build special relationships with them. Those will not be forgotten. My Tuesday Bible time with them has been a huge blessing in my life, and I will truly miss coming. This morning I shared from God's Word, sang and danced with them for the last time. With tears in my eyes I shared how much God loves them, and that I love them. Though I may never see the fruits of my labor, I trust that a seed has been planted in their hearts. I pray many of these women come to know Jesus. Not just Jesus as a prophet and wise man, but Jesus who is the son of God and Savior of the world.

As my departure is fast approaching, I am slowly saying goodbye to every part of my life here. Though painful, it is necessary in moving on. I will never forget my time here. Ministry at the VVF has been a bright beacon of hope amongst the despair and sorrow of AIDS.

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm! Let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

1 Corinthians 15:58

Bundles of JOY!!

My friend Hajara just had a beautiful baby boy on tuesday evening. He is so precious and weighs over 9 pounds. We all think he looks just like his dad. This is a great goodbye gift for me knowing Hajo and her new baby are safe and doing well! By God's grace she will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.

My friend Dupe came to my house this week and brought her twin girls Grace and Glory who are three months old. In Hausa Dupe is also referred to as "Mama yambiyu" which means mother of the twins. Dupe is HIV positive and feeding the twins infant formula so their risk of acquiring HIV is small. They are growing well, although Grace (fair one) is much smaller than Glory. I pray they stay healthy and remain HIV negative....

A tribute to my dad

On this Father's Day I want to say a special word to my dad, who I have a great respect for. He is a man of his word, has a tender heart for people and never complains, but takes life as it comes. Whether he is bailing me out of a car flood, helping to change my oil in the car, getting tax stuff for me, or giving me advice, he has always been there for me. I miss my dad today. He is a man of integrity and very loyal. A realtor for over 25 years, my dad has been a hard worker and always faithful to those he is serving. He keeps to his promises, and wants the best for his customers. They all respect him and keep coming back to him because he has expertise in the field, and will try to get them a great deal. He knows his stuff.....

My dad is an avid Cubs fan and a super golfer! His golfing buddies know him as "The Commish" because he organizes their tournaments and keeps times. They all look to dad for his leadership and they know he will play fair. They also love him for his humor. He always has a joke or a funny story to tell. My dad loves his coconut cream pie from Baker's Square when we celebrate family birthdays. He makes the best stuffing at Thanksgiving, a skill he learned from his dad year after year at Turkey time.

Thanks for being my dad, for loving me through good and bad times. Thanks for showing me what it means to be loyal and dedicated. I love you very much, and wish I was there to spend this day with you.

See you in a few weeks!!!

Love your youngest daughter,

Susan :)

What is pizza???

A few weeks ago I invited some friends from Evangel over for pizza so I could spend more time with them before I leave. They all asked me what is pizza? They stared at it for a while looking unsure about trying this wierd food that Americans rave about. Josephine, Lami, Theresa and Ladi

Lami is one of the most joyful people I have ever met in my entire life. She is a widow with five children and living with HIV. Her husband died of HIV and only after his death did she too find out her status. She has brought much joy and sunshine to my life. I will miss her dearly.
The women are jubilating and dancing
Jospehine and Bulus enjoying pizza for the first time

Too young to die

Baby Elizabeth came to us a week ago monday at 10 and a half months weighing a bleak 6.5 pounds. My friend Kyenpiya saw Elizabeth and her mother Sarah at the market and seeing that they both were sickly looking and very thin, she asked them to come and get an HIV test. To no surprise they were both HIV positive. I am encouraged at ther boldness and desire to help this poor woman and her baby. Elizabeth could only wimper, and was eating so poorly. She looked like she was starving to death. We weren't sure whether the baby was literally starving, or if she had full blown AIDS already. She was so hungry and would eat as if she hadn't eaten for days. They admitted her to the hospital and put a tube in her nose for feeding. Kara and I went to visit them daily bringing them food, clothes and others things. We prayed with her and tried to encourage her to hang on. The level of poverty in this family was so sad for us to see. Sarah continued to wear the same clothes day after day. She herself could not be more than 80 pounds. We encouraged her to hold onto her faith in Jesus and to put her trust and hope in him. It boggles my mind the level of ignorance and lack of education and resources these peole have. Sarah had no idea that she herself or her baby were so sick. How could she not know? How could she wait so long to bring her baby for treatment? I will never as long as I live understand this. I am so sad because she could have been helped months ago, and yet she continued to starve month after month until a stranger on the street had to tell her to go and get help. There is something so wrong with that.


We tried so many things to sustain the baby's life, tube feedings, IV fluids, antibiotics and even put her into the ICU. But to no avial, all of our efforts seemed in vain. God took Elizabeth home this morning. She died at 9 a.m. Her mother came to us in tears and totally devastated. She took her back to their village for her buriel today. Yet another baby has died and I couldn't stop it. Nothing I did made a difference in the end. I am so angry. I refused to go and see the baby for fear I would have another meltdown, can't do that to myself. This is the third baby we have lost in the last two weeks. The only thing I can do is to trust in God's Sovereignty. I must cling to God's amazing love and goodness. Elizabeth was too young to die and I don't understand, but I guess I don't have to.


I covet your prayers as I deal with these situations that seem utterly hopeless. One verse that I am clinging to is Psalm 119:28, "My soul is weary with sorrow, strengthen me according to your word......I run in the paths of your commands for you have set my heart free!" Praise HIM for I am free, Jesus has set me free.

A moment with a Leper

"A man with Leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man, "I am willing," he said. "Be Clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured." Last week Kara and I went to Blindtown, an outreach to Muslims where many people are suffering from Leprosy and blindness. We gave much needed drugs to those who are unable to come to the hospital for care. This woman had Leprosy in her hands, feet and eyes. This disease eats away at the nerves and results in numbess of the affected parts. Often times when those with Leprosy bump themselves or trip on something, they don't realize they have an infection in the leg or foot because their body doesn't register pain. It severely affects their mobility and quality of life.

She is considered an outcast and yet had an amazing smile and warmth about her. When we entered her one room house, I greeted her in Hausa, "Sannu mama, ina yuni, ya ya gida, ya ya jiki?" I immediately put out my hand to shake hers. She smiled and slowly placed her right stubby hand into mine. Because of the Leprosy she was missing all fingers on both hands. I wonder what she thought at that very moment? not many people are willing to touch a Leper for fear they will too get it. Even though it is a contagious disease, one must spend a significant amount of time in close quarters with a person with active disease to actually contract it. Most of the people here have been suffering with Leprosy for many years.

We saw another man with Leprosy who struggled to crawl up a large set of cement stairs into the room where we were giving medicine and taking blood pressures. I offerred to help him up the stairs which is considered culturally innapropriate. It is not acceptable to touch a Muslim man unless for example he offers his hand out to you first. I guess that was one time I was not following the cultural norm. I felt so humbled and helpless when he refused my help, but I understood and realized afterwards it was not the best idea. But God's love is so much bigger than cultural standards, bigger than gender and any kind of sickness. His love covers us all, even the most unclean. There is not pit where his love is not deeper still.

During those short moments with these precious people, I was reminded of Jesus. I smiled as I thought about how he healed the man with Leprosy, and how much love he had for him. I pray that our example of Jesus' love will show them the healing power of Jesus to save and to make them clean again. I pray they will know him as Savior someday!

EMS kids

Last week me and Kara went with a few other girls to EMS, a missions school for Nigerian missionary children whose parents are living in remote areas. We sang, danced and played games with them. They are so precious!!

The kids are enjoying dancing

Kara greeting the children

Me and Jael

Peter and Paul

Meet Peter and Paul, a set of twins whose mother is HIV positive. They came to see me a few months ago, and were extremely small, as twins usually are. We began giving the mother infant formula for them. Since she has been feeding them well they have grown leaps and bounds, and as you can see are happy and healthy. I am so amazed and thankful for their improvement these last months. It is truly a miracle.

Thank you God for this success story, may there be many more like this........

Losing Rejoice

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. "

Psalm 68:19

For the last few months I have been working with a client and her baby whose name is Rejoice. At first, the baby was very fat and healthy looking. But over the last month she reduced weight and was very sick. I had been hearing that the mother would go out and lock the door leaving the baby alone with the 9 year old son. She would be found crying and crying, not being fed enough. Her neighbor who is also a client of ours has testified that there is obvious neglect. One night Rejoice's mom saw that the baby was dying, her breathing slowing, so she panicked and called her neighbor. The neighbor was the one that convinced her to bring the baby for the hospital. When she brought the baby and I saw how malnourished and small she was, I was so disgusted, especially after hearing about the neglect and poor responsibility of her mother. That day after seeing how thin she had become, I had grown so discouraged. But the baby was put on admission in the hospital and got much better. I saw a glimmer of hope that maybe her mother was waking up the reality of parenting, and would change her ways after almost losing her 8 month old. I have had to deal with such anger at her for how she is treating the baby. I went to her house one day and tried to talk with her seriously about taking better care of her baby. I told her that if she didn't take care of Rejoice very well that the baby would die. She kind of smiled and acted nonchalantly, and that made me even more upset. This is not a joke; this is a precious life; an innocent baby who has been born to an HIV positive mother who may also be positive with this deadly virus. After many of us tried talking with her, she continued in her behavior. My fears came true when I found out that Rejoice died last tuesday. I was beside myself, so upset and angry at her mother. I have asked myself over and over, was there something else I could have done to stop this? did I do enough? could I have saved the baby? what could I have done to prevent this? I feared what I would say to her mother upon seeing her. I have been praying that God would help me to love this woman as terrible as she is. She knew how sick she was, and said she never had money for transport to the hospital, yet had money to go out and run around doing who knows what. It's almost like she wanted the baby to die. She came to see me yesterday, and God's grace was amazing, as it always is. She sat down and I started crying, saying how sorry I was and asked her what happened. The most amazing thing is that when I looked at her all I saw was love, and felt compassion. I reminded her of our conversation, and told her I hoped that she did everything she could do for the baby to care for her. She just kept saying, "it's no problem, no problem." I asked her how she could say it's no problem. She said she had done her best, and that God knew he would take the baby when He did.

I thank God for helping me deal with this situation in His strength, not my own. Please pray for Helen, that she would be convicted of her sin and turn to God. Only God really knows her heart. It's not for us to judge or condemn her. Pray for my heart as I deal with another terrible loss....

Like so many other situations I deal with on a daily basis, I have to again come before His throne of grace and ask for help, because I don't understand. I don't have the answer, but must rest in His absolute Sovereignty and allow Him to bear my burdens, and the burdens of many around me.

Welcome Kara!!

My friend Kara came on tuesday to visit me from Wheaton. I am so thankful for her support, and I pray her time here is life changing. Today we went to a village called Gyero. Over 70 boys and 12 girls live here. Many of them are orphaned and used to live on the street. They receive free health care, education and food as well as discipleship and spiritual encouragement.

Boys playing games outside

These are the precious girls who are new to Gyero. Before this, only boys were staying there.

Mount Zion is not far away.....

I have been getting to know Ladi's younger sister Ruth this last year. I am not sure if she knows Jesus, but I had a neat opportunity to share with her last week. She has been in an abusive relationship for a long time now. She moved back to her family house last week, and said she has gotten out of the relationship. During our visit, as I looked at her badly beaten face, she had a big gash on the left cheek bone and swollen lip as well as puffy eyes. She looked so tired and ashamed. We got there by 10:30 am and she was still sleeping. She could barely get out of bed. We began to share about Jesus with her, and she has made the first step by leaving. I shared with her how she can make a choice to get out of this relationship, that with Jesus she can have a new start. I am proud of her for moving back home, and know if she trusts in God, he can deliver her out of this darkness. She can be set free from the prison she is living in. For a brief moment when I looked at her from the side, I thought I was seeing Ladi.....it caught me by surprise and was as if Ladi was sitting right next to me. I paused for a minute, then I told Ruth how before her big sister died, she knew Jesus. I said to Ruth in tears, "Before Ladi died, she knew Jesus in her heart... you can know Jesus too!" It was one of those moments I will never forget. I felt such joy as I remembered Ladi's transformation those last days of her life. Despite the desperation of Ruth's plight, I was filled with an amazing peace as I felt God saying to hang on and continue sharing the hope of Christ with her. As I talked she kept her head down, but at one point in the conversation she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. That was the first time I had ever seen her cry. Until now she has been untouchable, never had a problem, everything was always fine and she never needed anything from anyone. What was happening to Ruth? God was breaking her down slowly, the ice was melting and he was softening her heart. After we talked and cried, Ruth was very quiet. She was really contemplating everything and I could tell God was working on her. I knew she would need time to think about all the things we shared with her. It takes time for people to break free from bondage.

She said she had been having trouble seeing since the incident, so I asked her to come and see the eye doctor on friday. The picture above is the following monday after seeing the doctor. When I walked to the front door of work, there she was sitting on the bench with a huge smile on her face. She looked ten times better, the scars fading from her face. It was like she was a different person. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen her smile. She greeted me warmly and we had a great chat. The big issue Ruth must face now is that of having no money. She doesn't have a job, and needs to learn some skills so she can take care of herself. Her boyfriend was paying for everything, and she didn't need to have a job before. Please pray for Ruth this week. I am going to take her to a ministry that teaches women how to sew and I pray she agrees. God can provide for all her needs, but she need to also learn how to take responsibility for her own life.

I am so excited words cannot explain.......to see Ruth breaking free is amazing. I pray she too accepts the free gift that is offerred to her. The gift of Jesus Christ.

Psalm 126:1 says it all

"When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed (men restored to health)!" May Ruth's song ever be that Jesus set her free and restored her life.

Mount Zion is not far away, God did it for Ladi and he will do it for Ruth......

Saying goodbye to James

Well, it is official. The countdown has begun, and I leave Nigeria in six weeks. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my little James, who is my favorite. He is two years old and has been coming for over a year now with his mom. Whenever he sees me he runs up to me with an eager look on his face, and raises his arms high so I will pick him up. I love when he does that! His mom Joy is a single mother and has it pretty hard. They are living in another state and only come every few months to pick up their ARV medicine. I know this goodbye is only the beginning of goodbyes for me these next weeks. The reality is, the life of a missionary is a life of goodbyes. This is always the hardest part for me. I pray that James grows to live a long life but more importantly that he grows to love Jesus!!! Goodbye James, sai mun hadu......

"Babu Kanjamau"

We have a little baby named Isa (above) who was very sick at birth and whose mother died of AIDS. He has been living with his grandmother since birth. We assumed he was positive and started him on ARV's to save his life. He grew very well and gained weight, was healthy and then we tested him and he was NEGATIVE!!!! It was so amazing to us all and we were exstatic. I got the privilege last week of visiting his family, and telling the grandmother that he does not have HIV. What a great feelings it was to say that, I have never been able to do that before. His grandmother broke down in tears with joy that her grandson was free of the horrible virus that took her daughter's life. You can't imagine the weight that was lifted that day. So besides taking her grandson Isa, she also has four of her own and also her brother's baby. Women here often take many children that are not their own and care for them.

Fatima, Hauwa and ????, three of her girls. The baby above is the new addition, she is Safiya and the grandmother's niece. Then the last baby (who is her own child) was sleeping during the pictures...

Searching for Simi

Her name is Simi and she is fifteen years old. She is an orphan; her father died many years ago and her mother, who abandoned her when she was three months old, died just three months ago. Simi had been living with her grandmother since she was a baby. She was one of our clients for the last few years and taking ARV's from our hospital here. We saw Simi on a regular basis, but all of a sudden she stopped coming, and we heard she was hanging with the wrong crowd and stopped taking her ARV's. We called her to come to our place so we could talk and counsel with her. Her grandmother brought her, and sure enough she admitted to stopping her drugs. On several other occasions, many of us tried to talk with her about changing her behaviors, but all of our attempts failed. Soon after that visit, Simi's grandmother came to us in tears to say that Simi had run away. A friend of her's had been a bad influence on her and was convincing her to make unwise decisions. Last we heard she was still in Jos somewhere but we haven't seen her since last year.

I have been thinking about her lately with a heavy heart, and decided to visit her grandmother today. To my surprise her grandmother hasn't seen her since last September when she came to stay with her for a month, but then disappeared again. She said she hears Simi is around, but that she hasn't come to see her. With worry and fear written all over her face, she fears the worst for her precious grandaughter. I asked of the friend that initially got Simi involved in this crowd, and to my horror, they said her friend recently died of AIDS. Their are so many young girls here like Simi who are involved in high risk behaviors which increase their chances of getting HIV. Simi is already positive, but because she is not adherant to her therapy, the virus is growing much faster and stronger than before. If she tried to start back on the drugs, they would not work for her anymore, and she would become sick very quickly.

I pray that Simi realizes that this life she is living will only lead to dissapointments and misery. Their is no joy or peace apart from Jesus Christ. Worldly pleasures are fleeting and temporary to say the least. Please pray along with me for Simi. Pray for her safe return, and like the prodigal son who was lost, that she will be found again.

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he find it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ' Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep."

Luke 15:3-6

Moody here I come!!

Today I found out I am officially accepted to Moody Graduate School for this fall semester. Praise God for the exciting news! I know this will be an amazing time for me. I am confident my experiences here in Nigeria will help give me insight into my time at Moody. I look forward to the next chapter of my life.....Moody here I come!!!!!

Proverbs 16:9 says:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

**Thank you, Lord Jesus for directing my steps up to this point. You are the author of my life, and I trust in your Sovereign will for me for such a time is this!**

Starting Over

Nearly three months after burying her six month old baby, Ngosonom is starting over. After leaving her baby to rest in the village, she has been in a sewing program here at the VVF Center. With a renewed sense of hope and purpose in life, Ngosonom is learning many sewing skills and improving every day. She is now making dresses, skirts and decorative pieces.

In terms of her physical health, she is not completely healed and will have her third surgery tomorrow morning. From what the doctors say, she many never be fully healed, which means she could be leaking forever. With God all things are possible. It's been a long road for her, but God is faithful and is helping to sustain her. I found out recently her husband doesn't want her anymore because of her problem and drove her out of their home. That explains why he has never come to see her in the 10 months she has been in Jos. After surgery and rehab she will return to her parents home. My heart bleeds for her plight, with little support from her family and husband, she feels very alone. It's hard not to be sad for her.

I am so blessed to be able to spend much time with Ngosonom and pour into her life. Even though communication has been a problem, her Hausa is getting much better. What a joy to see her truly starting a new life and feeling joyful again. Regardless of what the outcome is for her, she is loved by God and knows of His love for her.

Pray for Rain

The water board has been on strike for almost a week now, and there is no city water coming in. Our two water tanks are almost empty and the water crisis is elevating. We have been seriously praying for rain this last week. We were using the rain water to flush toilets and do laundry. On saturday someone sent a Water for Life tanker to help fill our tanks some, but then the Lord did something amazing. He sent a terrential downpour and our tanks were filled to the maximum. What a joy it was watching the rain fall and thanking GOD for it. I am going to pray for rain more often.!!!

Memories of Murline

Today I found out one of my neighbors from Wheaton died suddenly last week. Me and two high school friends lived next door to her for two years, and I have many fond memories of standing on our front porch talking and laughing with her. She always had a witty joke or story to tell us. She was very sociable and always greeting us and cared about the little details of our lives. She treated us like her daughters. One of her favorite hobbies was gardening. She turned her front yard and our's, into something quite remarkable.

I remember when we were moving out we had a garage sale, and all the neighbor ladies were so sad to say goodbye to us, especially Murline. She bought my couch and some other things from me. I don't think she really needed them, but wanted to help me and knew I needed the money. That was Murline. She had a real giving heart. She was also partnering with me through monthly support for God's work here in Nigeria.

It's sad not being at home to attend her funeral, but I look forward to visiting with the other neighbors when I come home. Sunderland Court will not be the same without Murline, though. Her presence will be dearly missed.

Thankful today

Today I had a training program with the workers in the PEPFAR program and we discussed ARV's, how and when to give, and how to encourage adherence to therapy. We also talked about nutrition and how important it is for clients on ARV's to eat a balanced diet. After saying this, one of the counselors laughed. He procedeed to say how the statement made him laugh because many of his clients are going hungry, and have a hard enough time getting food for one meal a day. Then a few others jumped in with the same complaint that their clients are going hungry. The truth is that a large percentage of Nigerians are living under a $1.00 a day. They mentioned when they go on their visits and see the living conditions and the lack of food, they are moved to compassion, and give out of their own pockets to someone with a greater need. That is the gospel in action.

"I will never know what it means to be starving" I told them. I was speechless. What could I say that would not sound cliche or patronizing? I can never fully understand there plight. Even the hospital workers who sat in front of me who have good jobs compared to most Nigerians, are also struggling to find food to support their families. As an American with a nice car, nice place to live and money for anything I want, I cannot relate to their struggle. At that very moment I felt guilty for never having known what it feels like to be hungry; to not know where the next meal will come from. Why was I born in America and not in Africa? I didn't choose this life, and neither did they.

These are just some things I have been thinking about lately. You can't face poverty and not be affected by it somehow. I don't have an answer to the big issue of poverty, but I do know that I need to praise and thank God for all the resources I have been given. Then I need to turn around and give away what he has given me to bless someone else. None of it belongs to me anyway, for all that I have is the Lord's.

Some things I am thankful for today:

1. Clean water-many of the clients I see every day struggle to have clean water for drinking and cooking. Most children die of diarrhea due to lack of clean drinking water. I have a filter and easy access to clean water every day. All I have to do is turn on the faucet and water pours out.
2. Food-many Nigerian's struggle to eat one meal a day. I am able to eat three meals a day and can afford things like Chicken and rice which are very expensive here.
3. A nice car-Most Nigerian's don't have a car, and either take a taxi or a motor bike for transportation. Many of them have to trek (walk) far distances. My car takes me wherever I need to go in a short amount of time.
4. Electricity-my Hausa teacher told me they have had problems with scarce electricity for over four months. Electricity is bad here and without a generator, most people live in the dark after the sun goes down. They use candles for light. I have battery lights in my house so when the electricity is off, I turn on the lights and can see well.
5. Medicine-60% of Subsahara Africa doesn't have access to health care. Clients come to me daily and say they can't afford the medicine that has been prescribed for their sickness. When I am sick all I have to do is go to my drug cabinet and take medicine, or go to the doctor and they will prescribe something for me and I can afford to pay for the treatment.

Today I am thankful for these things I have always taken for granted......