Where I belong...

The second I landed in Abuja it was like coming back home. I immediately felt a sense of belonging. Things seem to make sense here to me. My life made sense, I fit in with the culture and loved my life here, despite all the wahala (trouble) that I went through living here. I received a warm welcome at work, and all I can say is that there was much screaming (the good kind!) and tons of long hugs (Nigerians are not touchy feely people) and much laughter. I called my good friend Hajara and started singing to her in Hausa and thinking it was her Nigerian friend she was trying to guess who it was. When I told her it was me she screamed and laughed for a while, then said, "Ina zuwa, ina zuwa yanzu" (I am coming I am coming right now)! It was such an amazing feeling and in some ways I feel like I never left. Ten months seems like a day...she said "I can't stop hugging you!" What a joy to have so many people that are special in my life.

But as I dealt with what seemed like hundreds of young Nigerian men yelling "Baturi" at me as I walked down the street I remembered very quickly, "I am not in Kansas anymore." It didn't take long to remember the things that were hard or made me cry when I came the first time over two years ago. I also saw many children who have polio and are unable to walk, but resort to crawling. Many of them don't even have wheelchairs. There were several other children whose bodies are disfigured, and they were hard to look at. I felt an overwhelming feeling of sorrow again, it's almost like I forgot what that was like. I got so desensitized to it all; of course it was never easy, but I didn't think about it a lot because it is so wearing emotionally. I had to shut it out some in order to function.

God has pulled on my heartstrings again and he continues to do so until I can empathize with people so much that I love like he does. I met with a friend yesterday and he was reminding me how I need to have empathy for people and not just pity for them. It was a good point and I must say I am working on what that looks like here. I will let you know what I come up with.

I don't know what the future holds for me, and at times I don't really know how to love as Jesus loved, but I do know that at this very moment I am right where I belong.......