Thursday, August 16, 2007

Missing Nigeria

I am missing Nigeria today, as I do most days. The other night I was looking at a slideshow of pictures from Nigeria and cried harder than ever. As I remembered so many of our children who are living with HIV, my heart was sad. I miss seeing them and being a part of their lives. It's strange to be here in my home country and feel like a stranger. I often greet people and ask them how is work, and how is today, like I did in Nigeria, but people give me a blank stare. Those things I said and did there mean nothing here. It's a different world. Sometimes I catch myself saying "Kai" (wow), but no-one understands me. I am learning how to move on from my life in Nigeria and yet acknowledge what an impact it had on my life all at the same time. I feel as though I left a part of my heart there; and it won't be okay until I get it back. Like I am not whole. But I know I am whole in Jesus. He is everything to me, and fills my heart with divine joy and peace. I want to be like Jim Elliott and "be all here" so I can serve God's people with all that I am. I pray my heart continues to long more for HIM in the midst of feeling like no-one understands me. I realize God has a whole new harvest field for me here. I just need to be open to His Spirit leading me. Joy is a single mom and has James who is 4 years old and also positive.
Abraham came in with terrible sores on his head from HIV, and once he started treatment he improved so much and his sores went away.
My little Martha who warms my heart. She is living with her mom on a one inch mat on the floor in her small one room house. She is the sweetest thing and always loves to give me hugs and hold my hand!
Shaibu has gone from death to life! I am in such awe by his dramatic recovery, and so thankful to God for his second chance.
Shamma is a precious miracle also, but lost his mom Rose a few months ago to AIDS. He is now living with his grandmother who is beside herself, and unable to care for him well. The last time I saw him he had reduced weight again and looked very sick.
Gift is truly a gift. Her mother died of AIDS about 6 months ago, and her twin sister died suddenly a few months ago also. I suspect the twin was positive, although we will never know for sure. I worked hard with her aunty who is now caring for her to ensure she was feeding the baby well. She has learned a lot and doing a great job. She came to visit me twice before I left and brought the baby. It was so special. I really miss seeing the baby grow. I pray she is negative.
Isa is such a joy. His mother died of AIDS and because he was extra small since birth we always assumed he was positive. He was taking ARV's for over 6 months. But after testing him multiple times and getting negative results, we were dumfounded. His CD4 count is very low, yet the test shows no antibodies of HIV present??? The only indication for a low CD4 count is the presence of HIV. We cannot explain it...he is a mystery baby. But cute nonetheless.
Israel is God's chosen one for sure. He was almost dead and so skeletal before starting treatment. Clinically their is no way he would have survived, but God has a plan for his life and sustained him. He is a beautiful picture of God's redemptive plan and saving grace.

3 comments:

Erin said...

Fantastic photo's sister! Miss you!!!! xo

Mike Blyth said...

Good to see you're still blogging. I hope you keep it up in the coming year ... please!

Evanston2 said...

Your reaction to coming home is similar to military returning from overseas (e.g., Iraq). ~Scott